Premarital Counselling (PA)

Padmaja S. Kumar

Published on

Premarital Counselling (PA) is a type of therapy that helps couples get ready for marriage, ensures that they have a sturdy, “in the pink” relationship — giving them an enhanced opportunity for a positive and gratifying marriage. This can also help identify weaknesses that could turn out to be struggle during marriage.

We’re all set to tie the knot next month – “Isn’t it a little late to be taking a compatibility quiz?”  No… It isn’t! Wedding planning is fraught with stupid questions like Chairs – seating arrangement, Flowers, or what length your gown should be or what should be the sleeve length…. is laden with things that do not really matter. All of this can wait. Taking some time in the middle of all this planning to talk about the authenticity of your lives together, and to ask yourselves valid questions that will be worth every fifty pence piece, even if you think you already have the whole thing figured out.

Many of us have been seduced by the fairytale of the prince and his princess finding their perfect love. But the story really begins when they move into the castle together….and realise it’s no longer a Mills and Boon Story!  You need to distinguish between facts from fiction.


PA is an opportunity to explore the dynamics of your partnership and set yourselves up for a satisfying future together. There is often an enlightening aspect to PA, so that you can be taught healthier communication skills and how to negotiate conflict so that you can resolve any latent issues that may yield, in a way that actually strengthens your relationship. Counselling can give you insights if your particular relationship dynamics might be heading in the wrong direction. It helps a couple build a well-built, cognisant foundation for their marriage. Bear in mind that relationships are created; they are vibrant and perennially evolving. The relationship that you covet for is not the one you start out with but the one you co-create with your partner over time. This takes commitment, perseverance, conviction, and the motivation to look more closely at your own course of action rather than that of your partner.


During the fledgling stage of a relationship, when the feelings you have for your partner are by and large buoyant, is the ideal time to become more conscious and deliberate in the ways you interact and work jointly.

Couples come together from diverse families of origin wherein they have learned and inculcated habits and personality traits, for better or worse, by these early experiences of association. They enter into a marriage with dissimilar personalities and temperaments, contradictory values and needs, and baggage from previous cherished associations. They advance into the co-creating of a life together without a training manual or toolkit for how to handle the sometimes perfidious waters of their differences. PA can provide this guidance so that each person can mature to their fullest potential within the precincts of a vital, gratifying relationship. Also the couple can discover their dreams, their reservations, their qualms, their differences, and come to a better understanding of their partner’s choices and behaviour.


Nothing can guarantee a successful marriage, but Premarital Counselling can help you figure out what it takes to ensure your marriage will thrive! It gives you an outside perspective on your relationship, and how to make it last.


All of you  test-drove several vehicles before buying your last car, read every tech blog possible to see which Smartphone was best for you, and even texted a few dressing-room pictures of yourself to a friend before buying that cute dress/suit. As an educated, modern couple, you know researching your options and getting a few opinions can be a good thing. So, why are you so afraid to get a little help when it comes to your relationships?