Is your relationship being evaluated by the “shares” and “likes” on social media?


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A few years ago, human connections were about spending more time together in person. With the advent of social media, there has been a tremendous difference in the way we live our lives. On the positive note, social media helps us keep in touch with friends and loved ones from any corner of the world, give us hot news on the go, entertainment at the tip of your fingers. Having said that, on a different note, there seems to be something …troubling about social media. In some way, trying to make the users feel like they are being evaluated by likes?

According to this study(, it was found that people who spend more time on Facebook feel badly because of constant comparison to others online. Social media has somewhere rewired our understanding of self-esteem and self-image. Our value of ourselves has now shifted to the number of likes on our pictures or posts that is up online. Social media has affected not only the way we spend time with friends, our idea of fun but has also changed the way we validate ourselves and our relationships.

While, it is quite fun and exciting to share your new relationship and updates online, there might be a few downsides to the same. Studies have shown that couples who post less on social media, tend to be happier. Why is that?

For starters, there are only happy moments of the relationship that are put online. This is true for most of the posts that are put up on social media. This also gives the idea of a happy reality which everyone so badly craves but is impossible to attain. Once this trends in a relationship and there are constant posts online, there not only seems to be a breach of privacy but also a false reality of what is the truth.

Validation also becomes a game of being accepted and “liked” on social media. On several studies that have been conducted, the participants felt better when there were more likes on their posts and had feelings related to depression when they didn’t feel validated. While in a relationship, the validation that is to be gained internally, is now routed to the external world. A lot of relationship try looking ‘perfect’ online because of the constant comparison and need to be popular.

The wave of social media and new ways of wanting to be validated might never end. But there are always ways you can work around it. In a relationship in this era, there are going to be a lot hurdles in keeping the relationship away from the thorns of social media. Spend more time together, speak to each other, keep the fights away from the rest of the world and respect your privacy.

Hold hands and not phones. Unplug.