Being the Co-dependent in a Relationship


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Have you ever wondered why it feels so special to be in a relationship? We have this one person in our lives with whom we want to share everything with, but sometimes we don’t realise how our world revolves around them. Individuals who are unable to get satisfaction in their lives outside of their partner’s life; or have the tendency to support their partner by going out of their way or being with in-spite of their partner’s unhealthy behaviours tend to become the co-dependent in the relationship.

A co-dependent relationship signifies a degree of unhealthy clinginess where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy (Scott Wetzler). Research also suggests that individuals who have been neglected or who did not have much emotional connection with their parents in their teens are more likely to enter a co-dependent relationship.

7 characteristics of a co-dependent partner:

  1. You don’t feel good about yourself.
  2. Your life revolves around your relationship; you hardly meet your friends or make time for yourself.
  3. Your decision making depends on your partner.
  4. You are terrified to break up or be alone.
  5. You project onto your partner how you want them to be rather than how are they are.
  6. You like pleasing people.
  7. You are too possessive or insecure about your partner.

5 tips on overcoming co-dependency:

  1. Take some time off for yourself: It is important for everyone to take time off for themselves as it helps them explore more about themselves.
  2. Create boundaries: The most important factor of being in a relationship is to stop people pleasing and create personal boundaries so that people don’t take advantage of you. Even though you’re in a relationship, you still have the right to say no to your partner where needed.
  3. Believe in yourself and enhance your self-worth:Don’t depend on anyone else to tell you how good you are. You know yourself the best.
  4. Don’t let past experiences stop you from experiencing love again:It is difficult to get over someone when we’ve truly loved that person. Sometimes bad experiences in a relationship might lead to trust issues as well. But it is unfair to make decisions about your life based on your past. You need to learn to look ahead and ne hopeful for a bright future.
  5. Understand your Co-dependency pattern: The biggest challenge is to recognize and accept the behavioral pattern. The more you understand your co-dependency pattern, the easier it will be for you to find yourself the right partner who enhances your growth and not diminishes it.

It is a wonderful feeling to be in a relationship and to be loved by someone special but at the end of the day you must not forget to take care of yourself as an individual.