India is going through a transitional phase where socialism is moving towards individualism. This in turn has affected the values attached to family, relationships and marriage. While it has brought about positive changes in certain aspects, it has also brought about struggles which has negatively impacted us in terms of relationship. Dr Amita Puri, a Relationship Expert, speaks to Bhargavi Kerur on the changes a couple is likely to go through before and after marriage and how to overcome these to achieve better quality of life.
Marriage might get stability into their lives with no more need to hide their relationship from their parents or go out more freely but it also adds up to another big lot of responsibilities. So every couple changes after marriage in their own way. With family and family expectations adding up to their own expectations from each other, it might get too heavy for the partners because while entering the relationship, they did not sign up for that.
Dating and going out is very different from living with each other. Living with someone gives more insights into the other person’s living habits. Only when two individuals live with each other will they know how it will be after marriage. It is completely on the couple and their internal understanding how strong their marriage will be. Making the transition smoother is entirely up to the couple. They need to understand each other and the families need to take it a bit light on them.
These subtle things will add quality in the relationship and enhance the happiness quotient.
The to-be married couple could consider these factors before getting married. Remember that you bring in patterns of thoughts, emotions and behaviours of two different families. Understanding the differences and learning the healthy ways to address these differences will go a long way in building a long lasting happy marriage. Also, seek out support by way of counselling which is proven to be effective according to various studies. A review of literature “The Effectiveness of Family and Relationship Therapy” by Phillippa Evan and Shelley Turner in 2012, found that there is evidence to support the effectiveness of a number of approaches with couples and families, including multi-systemic family therapy and family problem solving.
About the Expert
A PhD from Dept of Psychiatry, PGI, Chandigarh, Dr. Amita Puri is a mental health professional who is a clinical Hypnotherapist trained from California Hypnosis Institute, who has been in this field for the last twenty years. Relationship management is her fore and she has been conducting workshops across the country on various issues pertaining to parenting concerns, adolescent aches, relationships, office stress, time management, enhancing emotional quotient and various aspects of teacher training. She specialises in cyber consultations and has healed thousands of hearts to date.