“We tie so much of our sexuality in our ability to procreate, and the partner with the infertility factor is NEVER to blame, so support your spouse.” –Melanie
India is a great nation; it comes with a great deal of package. Family structure is one of the best things India is known for. Most families are close knit and function at an interpersonal level. Although the scenario is changing now, the number of joint families are more than nuclear families, which means every occasion, festival, gathering, and decision involves more than just two people.
Here in India unfortunately, stigma is attached to almost everything (biological, physiological, ancestral, medical condition, natural, accidental, incidental, etc.) Infertility is one such concern that comes with a lot of stigma and blame attached to it. Most people fail to accept infertility as any other medical condition, it is looked upon as a bad omen in either of the couples; past life cycle’s karma. Since the term karma is usually associated with the past sins or lawlessness of the individual, infertility has been a channel of blame, guilt, incompetency and unfitting in the society. The stigma and the superstitious beliefs has pushed the infertile couples to shame, depression, self-blame, guilt, and loneliness. Here are few steps to keep yourself away from the above mentioned mental stress.
- Don’t Take It To Your Heart: I hope by now you have understood that infertility is a normal medical condition and that is all that matters. Fortunately or unfortunately, you don’t have the authority to stop people from talking, but you have the authority to not let it bother you. It is difficult to get to that level of intellectual stability, but once you do, you will realize that you hold the keys to your emotions and feelings and not others.
- Support Your Spouse: Even if the world is against you and your spouse, don’t let go of each other. Your support is important to your spouse; the only person your spouse reaches out to after their own selves is you. Be the person your spouse would want to rest upon and feel secure with. Even in the face of the most adverse times your support will make them strong and infertility is one such situations that require the couples to stay together firmer.
- Make A Difference: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have adopted 6 children, all from different countries and cultural backgrounds, not because they were infertile, they wanted to make a difference. In 2013, ‘International Business Times’ reported that over 60,000 children are being abandoned every year in India and the adoption rate is declining. Infertility shouldn’t be the reason for adoption but if it motivates you don’t hesitate, choose to make a difference. Open your arms, hearts, and your home; and I’m sure they will make a difference in your life.
Infertility is hurtful but you can choose to exchange hurt for adoption, pain for life, blame for honour, and infertility itself for a difference in life and in society