“Assertiveness involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive and proactive,” Joyce Marter.
Being assertive is a skill, it takes a lot of practice. Sometimes your approach is passive which does not give you the chance to put across your opinion. Sometimes it is aggressive which makes you very vulnerable and you end up taking decisions which might not be helpful in the later run.
Being assertive helps us find more about feeling good about ourselves and enhances our self-esteem and self-confidence. It helps us be clear and focus on what we want.
Here are few tips that might be helpful for being assertive at work:
- Be clear and confident about the way you express: It is necessary to be clear of what we say so that it doesn’t give others a chance to question you. Be confident in expressing yourself, there is no harm in sharing your thoughts. Communication at work is important and that should show through your body language, tone of voice and volume.
- Staying focussed: It is good to be open about other’s opinion and needs; but keeping in mind what you want to achieve. Sometimes it gives you new ideas and you can implement them, but you must avoid getting influenced.
- Taking responsibility for oneself: Whatever you say or whatever change you want always take charge for it. Using ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ or ‘you’ is always helpful as you want the change to happen and you believe the change will be achieved.
- Set boundaries: Setting boundaries is a must. You should know your limits so that others don’t take advantage. You should believe that you cannot do everything neither can you please everyone, so it is okay to say no if you are not comfortable with something and no one will judge you based on that. You can always come up with an alternative or suggest something new.
- Create a win-win situation: At every organisation differences are seen between the employers and their superiors or in between colleagues. But it is important to take the other person’s opinion or make them realise that are being heard. You can always consider the other person’s proposal and achieve what you had decided. This will help the other person to put forward their point and both of you will find a common ground.
Assertiveness training helps individuals improve their interpersonal skills and enhance self-esteem and self-confidence. As mentioned earlier being assertive is a learned behaviour and it differs from person to person and situation to situation. Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy are mostly used as this helps individuals achieve certain goals.