The Japanese have a concept called Amae – Amae is simply defined as the feeling of pleasurable dependence on another person which loosely translated means the delicious experience of interdependence. The mental shift from me to we can be startling. You now are a team—responsible to someone else in a new and profound way.
Opposites Attract. Each spouse is not only different physically, but there are differences in backgrounds, outlook on life and the way to deal with a situation. This is not intended as blight against marriage. God designed these dissimilarities for a reason. The more a couple learns to celebrate these differences, the stronger a marriage will become. In fact it is imperative to recall that these very differences were what attracted you to your spouse in the first place.
Marriage is not merely a feeling of love; it is an allegiance to love…for better or worse…Learn how dissimilar each of you is from one another. God created a man and a woman with diverse desires, needs and interests. Each spouse communicates in a different way, prefers life organized at a different pace, and tackles disappointments and excitements differently. Verbalizing and agreeing to that and continuing to remind yourself of that through the difficult days, will help the marriage last. Spend quantity time identifying those differences.
Life won’t always be blissful. There will be hard days, whether self-induced or life-induced. Life throws challenges and these trying times have the ability to catch even the best marriages off guard if not equipped to deal with it. We can never be fully prepared for what might erupt, but we can brace ourselves that when something does, whatever it is and no matter how hard it is, that we will handle it. Couples should use these times to improve the strength of their marriage rather than allow it to pull the marriage apart.
Unspoken, Unclear, Unmet and Unrealistic expectations…. can sabotage a good marriage.
Couples should ask for help soon, not letting problems in the marriage linger too long. Remove the fear of asking for professional counselling if necessary. It would be better to get help early than to see the marriage dissipate.